Comment below and share with us how you dealt or will be dealing with the anniversary of a loved one’s death. We love when grievers help other grievers. Tell a story about your loved one to a stranger. Continue to work towards a cause your loved one was involved with.ģ0. Finish a project your loved one was working on.Ģ9. Make a keepsake box of things that remind you of your loved one.Ģ8. Celebrate the strengths you have developed as a result of your loved one’s death.Ģ7. Establish a scholarship in their name.Ģ5. Plant a tree in your loved one’s name.Ģ4. Make a toast or say a prayer or blessing in their honor.Ģ3. Spend time journaling about your loved one.Ģ2. Build a memorial with portraits, personal items, and objects that remind you of your loved one.Ģ1. Do something your loved one would have enjoyed.Ģ0. Choose a ritual that can be repeated in the years to come.ġ9. Create a new ritual to celebrate the life of your loved one. Make a mix CD of music that reminds you of your loved one.ġ8. Watch your loved one’s favorite movie.ġ7. Distract yourself by getting together with friends, going to the movies, or taking a short trip.ġ6. Read old notes, letters, or e-mails from your loved one.ġ5. Take the trip you had been planning or dreaming about.ġ3. Visit or spend time in a place where you feel close to your loved one.ġ2. Light a candle in honor of your loved one.ġ1. Cook your loved ones favorite dish, use one of their recipes to prepare a meal, or host a pot-luck and ask people to bring a dish your loved one liked.ġ0. Host a dinner party and invite those who knew your loved ones best.ĩ. Reach out to someone else grieving the loss via letter, card, phone call, or e-mail.Ĩ. Plan a memorial service or candlelight vigil.ħ. Volunteer with a charity or cause close to your loved one’s heart.Ħ. If you don’t want to give away any of their things, just make a charitable donation in their name.ĥ. Donate a few of your loved one’s old belongings to a shelter or other charity. Turn digital photos into a photo album on Shutterfly or Snapfish.Ĥ. Do this alone and have a good cry or reminisce over photo albums with family and friends.ģ. Take flowers to the gravesite, a memorial site, or another place where you go to remember your loved one.Ģ. Whatever you do, we recommend you think ahead, anticipate the hard parts, and make a plan.ģ0 ways to honor and remember your loved one on their death anniversary:ġ. Some will want to fully feel the sadness and emotion of the day (what I like to call ‘wallowing with a purpose’), some will want to stay positive, some will want to do a quick and casual acknowledgment, and some will want to spend the entire day focused on the deceased. You (and others close to the loss) can decide how. But we highly recommend on days like the death anniversary that you find at least small ways to honor and remember your loved one. We obviously advocate for finding constructive ways to acknowledge and cope with tough days although I will totally support you in ignoring them if you so choose. We helped you reframe Valentines Day, we offered you 64 New Year’s resolutions for grievers, we suggested a fun family activity for remembering loved ones on Easter, we came up with a list of ways to remember your loved one during the holiday season,we’ve written 17 posts to help you cope with Mother’s Day Grief(and counting) , and Litsa laid out a rock star tutorial on Father’s Day sulking. Litsa and I have written many blog posts about dealing with grief on special days. For me, forgetting feels a lot worse than remembering the pain which is why I’m writing this post today – to implore you to not be like me. So, apparently, this is how I dysfunctionally deal with my mom’s deathiversary ( is deathiversary a word?). On the morning of October 24th, I stepped out of my house, and as soon as the smell of fall hit me, I thought, holy crap, is it the day? When I looked at the date and realized it was actually the day after, I was shocked. The day came and went, and I completely forgot about it. This year, as with past years, I spent time thinking about how I would cope with the day, I even started a blog post about it. I will forever associate the colorful leaves, cool breeze, and crisp air of Autumn with the helplessness I felt seven years ago knowing my mother could slip from life at any moment. My mother’s death anniversary was this past week, October 23rd to be exact. As soon as the fall weather hit, I could feel it approaching.